Green Monster

Am I really at the point in a relationship-friendship or it's just really complicated to actually feel jealous over something or someone?


This feeling sucks majorly.

Summer Nights..

Hello lovers!

I'm so terribly sorry that I haven't wrote on here in a little while. I can't really use the excuse that I have been busy because that is far from the truth.

So what have I been up to?

Hmm..actually not a whole lot. I work Monday to Friday and have every weekend off. I haven't really been going out during the weekends - it's sad, really it is. I have become somewhat of a homebody. I'd much rather be going out with my gal friends to see local bands at local bars.

I'm getting out tonight though! Yays! =D

I promise to update more frequently! Promise!

Oh and my favorite current song on repeat has been -- "Pumped up kicks" - by Foster the people. Check it out! It makes me instantly smile - even if it is about guns (kinda). I am very anti-guns..anti-violence.

Peace out cub scouts!
xoxoxo

Keep Your Chin Up, Beautiful..

The last four blogs have been somewhat planned but this one wasn't planned at all. At times (especially at night) my mind is racing so fast that it's hard to get my thoughts straight. As soon as I got home from work, all I wanted to do was relax but unfortunately that has become impossible.

Every since I took on more responsibility at work my stress level has gone way up. I find it less and less easier to relax myself. My stress level was close to 100% today and my emotions were way out of wack. I tend to be a pretty patient person and working in a class of one year olds you really have to be. I left work today with absolutely no patience and extreme road rage. I can only handle so much - enough is enough.

I need a vacation. My last vacation was in August of 2010. I am in NEED of one, asap. I don't get a paid vacation until after a year which isn't until October. I may take one anyways - even if it's only for a long weekend. I do have the weekends off but two days is never enough.

A couple months ago, I bought a sketch pad, colored pencils, regular pencils and a few other things. For a week or so I was really into sketching. I never became very good but it was fun. I have about 5 coloring books (yes I am like a 5 year old) and I love it. It tends to relax me - especially trying to stay in the lines. I may start drawing again soon - or maybe even start painting or something artistic.

In November of 2010, my grandma & grandpa took me to see The Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall for the Christmas Extravaganzo. It was an amazing trip and the show was incredible. That was only my second time to NYC and I loved it. I would never want to live in the City but visiting it isn't so bad. There's so much to see, lots of shopping and incredible museums. I would also love to visit Boston again. I haven't been there in ages but the same as NYC - amazing museums, beautiful architecture and lots of shopping. I need a date though - not the type of place to go solo.

So I feel like there tends to be moments when the same things pop up in my mind. It's irritating in a way but also really special in a way. It's extremely hard to sleep when my mind is constantly racing. It's also sometimes hard to put things into words. When I was younger (like 18 or 19) I used to write poetry and some of them were fairly good. Back then, I used to have a lot more on my mind - more negative things than positive like I wanted to beat an ex boyfriends' bum or some bitch was talking smack. Now, it's stuff like..

• The fact that I want to get married someday.
• Have children someday and the fact that I would love if my first was a little boy. Baby boys are better than baby girls.
• If I ever will be fully happy.
• Where I will be 5 years from now.
• How lost I will be when my mom leaves this world.
• If in 10 years, our world will be like the Jetsens and how amazing that would be.

I don't like thinking about death and how I would feel if someone close to me passed. I am in no way a religious person but I would hope my loved ones went to a happy, peaceful and beautiful place as opposed to a horrible & ugly place. My dog, Max - was put to sleep on March 19th. It was most definitely the saddest day of the entire year. Max was a big part of my life. We got him when I was 13 - so basically he was around for 1/2 my life. He was there for me - he comforted me when I was sad & sick. He was such a good dog & I loved him dearly.

The day before my dog died my nephew was born - Benjamin. He is the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. He's just darling. He's a blessing and I am a very proud Auntie.

I guess I have to wait another extra week before S is here. I'm not mad but definitely sad. I am extremely anxious and I just want to be in his arms (for a hug) now. Asap. Pronto.

Til next time!
Love & Kisses.

Who Said Nights Were For Sleep?

1) Are you really ready for 125 questions?
Yup.

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
Not at all.

3) Who did you last say "I love you" to?
Benjamin - my nephew.


4) Do you regret it?
No, I love him to pieces.


5) Have you ever been depressed?
Mildly.


6) Have a best friend?
Yes a few.

7) Are you a boy or girl?
I am a lady.


8) What is your relationship status?
I am single.

9) How do you want to die?
Quickly and painlessly.


10) What did you last eat?
A delicious brownie.

11) Did it taste Good?
Mmmhmm.


12) Play any sports?
I like to bowl.

13) Do you bite your nails ?
Yes since I was younger.


14) When was your last physical fight?
I am fully against violence.

15) Do you have an attitude?
No. I am pretty sure it's impossible for me to be rude. 


16) Does someone like you?
I think so.

17) What's your real name?
Heather Anne.


20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Hate is a very strong word so no.


21) Do you miss someone?
Yes very much so.

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Twirl.


23) Do you tan a lot?
I stick to the natural sun and yes.

24) Have any pets?
Jovie my kitty.

25) How exactly are you feeling?
Somewhat tired. Somewhat stressed.


26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
Almost always.


27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
Yup.


28) Would you take any of your exes back?
Never. They are ex's for a reason.


29) Are you scared of spiders?
If they're on the ground - no. If they're crawling on me - yes.


30) Would you go back in time if given the chance?
No. I believe that everything happens for a reason and you should just move forward.


31) Do you regret anything from your past?
No. See last question.


32) What are your plans for this weekend?
I'm babysitting and maybe a cookout.

33) Do you want to have kids?
Yes, one day.


34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with a Q?
No.


35) Do you type fast?
Yes.


36) Do you have piercings? How many?
Yes. Just my ears. I had the left side of my lip, a monroe, my nose pierced and my naval pierced three times.

37) Want any more?
Maybe my naval done again.

38) Can you spell well?
For the most part.


39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Not really.


40) What are you craving right now?
A back massage. Oh and another delicious brownie.


41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
Many.


43) Have you ever been on a horse?
A pony when I was younger.


44) Ever kissed someone on a pickup truck?
Yes.


45) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Possibly.


46) Have you ever been cheated on?
More than once.


47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Yes and vice versa.


49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
I have before and definitely not again.

50) What should you be doing?
I probably should be getting ready for bed but that's boring.


51) What's irritating you right now?
Not a lot.


52) Have you ever liked someone?
No never in my twenty-six years of living.


54) What is your favorite color(s) ?
Any shade of purple and blue.


55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Many times.


57) Do you have trust issues?
Yes. It's not as bad as it used to be though.


59) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
Shaved - no. Washed my hair - yes.


60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
My mom and I are extremely close.


62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
Never.


63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
I haven't cried in a long time.


64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
Yes probably too easily.


65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive.


66) Is this year the best year of your life?
So far it's been pretty spectacular!

67) What was your childhood nickname?
Peanut.


68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
Never.


69) Do you think you're a good person?
I think I am pretty amazing.


70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Most definitely.


71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Smiled.


73) What is bothering you?
My sweaty feet and my fan deciding to not work tonight.

74) Have you ever been out of the country?
Not yet. I would love to go to Canada, Ireland and the UK.


75) Do you play the Wii?
Never.


76) Are you listening to music right now?
No. I am watching NCIS.


77) Do you like Chinese food?
Sometimes.


78) Do you know your fathers b-day?
May 25th.


79) Are you afraid of the dark?
Very much so.


81) Are you mean?
I can try to be but people laugh at me.


82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
Not at all.


83) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal?
Did not notice.

84) Do you believe in true love?
I believe in love. I have yet to find TRUE love.

85) Are you proud of the person you've become?
For the most part yes.


86) Do you like the outside?
LOVE but only when it's warm.


89) Are you currently bored?
Not at all.
90) Do you wanna get married?
Eventually yes.


91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Not at all. I'm not very into "pet names."


92) Are you hungry?
Not really.


93) Do you have a bank account?
Yes and a savings account.


94) What makes you happy?
Family, best friends, summer, shopping, the ocean, sweets..


95) Would you change your name?
I used to want to and now not so much.


96) Ever been to Alaska?
No thank you.


98) Do you watch the news?
If something interesting is on.


99) What' s your zodiac sign?
Pisces.


100) Do you like Subway?
Yes with EXTRA banana peppers and pickles!

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
I wouldn't want to.


102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
I no longer have a best friend of the opposite sex.


103) Do you talk like your friends?
Not really.


105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Yes. I can be anti-social at times.


106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self with?
I have many male friends that I can act my complete self around.

107) Who is the last guy you talked to?
Currently talking to Zach & Stephen.


109) Do you go to church?
I used to go when I was younger. I am no longer religious.

110) What's going on between you and your best friend?
Long distance relationship.

111) Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Stephen.


113) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos?
I enjoy tattoos.


114) What do you wear more: jeans, sweats, pants, or shorts?
Jeans, yoga pants and shorts.


115) You're a Sharpie marker, what color are you?
Vibrant purple.


116) Where do you go if you are naked and locked out of your house?
Into my car.

117) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning?
At night.


118) Have you ever said you'd never love again?
Yes. I have said it but I don't believe it.


119) Do you want to please everyone?
I like to make people happy but I love being happy too.


120) Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
Yes "Let Me Down Easy", "Take Me There" & "Just A Kiss."


121) Has someone ever made you a promise & broken it?
Yes.


122) Are you alone?
In my bedroom - yes.


123) Do you have any siblings?
Yes - sister & brother.


124) Did you speak to your father today?
Yes.


125) How many months until your birthday?
About 10.