Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Maybe it's fate...

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart. "

Over the last three years (to be exact) I have had the absolute worst luck when it came to dating. My last relationship ended in March of 2008. It was possibly the best & worst relationship I have ever been in. It ended pretty mutual which is always a good thing, I suppose. After my relationship with (we will name him A - for privacy purposes) ended I didn't really ever want to be with anyone. It wasn't because I was still hung up on him but moreso because I just (in the beginning) wanted to be single. The first year of being single was fun and drama free. I went out with my girls a lot and just had a carefree life. I really did enjoy it but now it's been three years and I am no longer loving it.

I have noticed (thanks to facebook) that a lot of girls and guys that I graduated high school with are now married and having children and living that happily ever after life. In a way, I am jealous. I want that fairytale life.

The beginning of last year I joined a dating website called PlentyOfFish.com and also OkCupid.com. I never in a million years thought that I would have to stoop to that level. Beforehand, I never had any issues finding potentional men to date. While being on POF, I had met a few guys that I thought I would give a chance and actually meet. So I went on a few dates but the first dates never worked out so there was never a second date to follow.

One day on POF I met this one kid (we will call him J - for privacy purposes). J and I went on a few dates and things seemed to be working very well. Until the day that he told me he had to move to the West Coast for work. I was completely bummed out - the first guy that I was actually into was leaving for months. I knew that it wouldn't work out considering I don't do long distance relationships. I gave it a shot though because I was really into him. I ended up visiting him on the West Coast in August of 2010 for a week. I flew out there all by myself with hopes of things actually working and they ended up not working at all.

After that relationship crashing & burning I gave up hope completely. I deleted both my OkC & POF accounts. I continued going out with my girls and meeting strange men at bars. Until March of 2011 when I decided to give OkC one last chance. I had only had the account for a month when I met S (we will call him S - for privacy purposes).

It honestly felt like fate.

At first I was very hesitant to actually talk to him because he lives down South. Then I noticed on his profile that he was moving up to CT in June. At that point, I knew I had to give him a shot. In the beginning, I had no idea that it would actually get this far. I never thought that after that one innocent message we would still be talking today. Before he came along I felt so unlucky that nothing amazing would cross my path again. I gave up all hope at finding a nice, mature man. Until him.

Obviously, I don't want to rush things but I know how excited I am for him to move up here. I am currently counting down the days. I know once it reaches single digits the butterflies will start cluttering to my belly. I don't in any way want to get my hopes up - but I feel like he may be the one I have been searching for.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Til next time.
Love & Kisses.

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